Letters to Namjoon

last night I dreamt of the people outside my window, and I woke up knowing I would always miss what I had lost as soon as my eyes opened. the people I dreamt of do not exist, but for the time I had with them, I loved them so much. today I have spent my […]

yearning yearning yearning for what I don’t have. I look out my window and I see them, I see their routine, every night. they walk together and read together. they are alone but they are not lonely and I yearn yearn yearn for what they have. the ache grows and grows and spills over my […]

they say life is full of paradox I will stay by your side until you survive winter hellebore, I will stay by your side until you bloom

today I took care of things that were hard to do, but they were important, and thinking about making you proud made me smile. I’m not sure I’m proud of myself, but I am endlessly proud of you, and I want to become someone we can both be proud of. thank you for inspiring me […]

I am so grateful for you, and I miss you so much already. The more I get to know you, the more I get to love you. Please be safe, and never doubt that we love you so much more than is possible. Come back home soon, please. Thank you for being You(ngi) -D

today is a hard day. I am trying to be kind to myself, but it’s hard to see a good reason why. They say things get harder before they get easier, but I wonder how long we need to hold on. What will come first, the turning point or the breaking point? And still, we […]

Today too, I miss you. I hope you are warm and that you ate something delicious. I hope you’re laughing at something silly, and enjoying the moment you are living in. I hope the present is wonderful, and that the future will be better still. I hope you feel rested, and that you fall asleep […]

I’m scared and sad and lonely. I wish I had someone to talk to, but Instagram says I can only send you one message because you don’t know who I am. That seems fitting for tonight. I wish you peace, joy, love and beauty, always. I hope we can talk someday. Thank you for being […]