Letters to Namjoon

i also used to think i was destined for the 27 club too. i used to think i would never make it to Older, make it to Life Gets Better. but a very wise man once said: life is better than death, i’ll prove it and you know what? i think he was right. i […]

today’s a hard day. they say working out makes you feel better, so i did that. i cried beforeduringafter the workout, then i stopped crying in the shower. my hair is still wet as i cry some more. i just want a hug, to be held, to be told everything will be okay. maybe that’s […]

when it rains, it pours. i wish i could lean into a hand that cups my face, feel its warmth and love and support. i feel lonely and lost and i want to be held. a little warmth to drive the rain away i want to be there for somebody no matter what. i want […]

my love, my heart i know you love your brother with all that you are as he makes a mistake i wish i could hold your hand tell you it’s okay to distance yourself from the hurt inside i wish i could console you and tell you all will be fine tell you your brother […]

the longing, the yearning, the sighing, the pining

namjoon, please. a single chance, that’s all i’m asking for. just give me one chance please

he does not exist, the same way you do not exist. there’s no way to look into your eyes, to pat your hand, to smell your breath. you’re as real as he is. you both stare at me from a computer screen, and you’re both “real” in a way that will never be enough. if […]

today is one of the hardest days i’ve ever lived. it keeps getting harder and harder to breathe. It was so beautiful seeing all 7 of you together again, and i’m so happy Jin is back, but then my mind tumbles into despair again. i don’t know that i can hold out for 362 more […]