today’s a hard day. they say working out makes you feel better, so i did that. i cried beforeduringafter the workout, then i stopped crying in the shower. my hair is still wet as i cry some more. i just want a hug, to be held, to be told everything will be okay. maybe that’s why i stopped crying in the shower, because it felt warm.

i keep reminding myself that my sister would be sad if i kms, but today i googled funeral arrangements and much it would cost to die. right now, i can’t even afford to die. i also can’t afford to live. maybe i need to take another shower

-D