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locked out
last night i came home late, and the door to my bedroom was closed. i tried to open it and fall into bed, only to find it locked. it’s a new lock, a new door, a new room, a new house. and suddenly i just wanted to go home… except i don’t live there anymore, i live here. i got…
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i am one
tonight i am acutely aware that i am one. i don’t have a team around me, and sometimes it feels like no one has my back unconditionally. when i see you with the boys, i am so happy that you have a chosen family, a place where you can always be yourself, a group of people who understands you better…
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conversation
another day ends, another spin done. another chance to prove that life is better than the death. another day being Still Life, escaping the frame. thank you for making a song for every occasion, every mood. sometimes i try to imagine what it’d be like to try to thank you in person but i think my brain would probably be…
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comfort
somehow i end up coming here to write when i really need comfort, which might be making for a less than cheery atmosphere around these parts. i wish i could give you letters that give you comfort, that express just how much i appreciate you, that wrap you in a hug the way your songs wrap my soul in warmth.…
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29 sinkin’ in a bathtub
i also used to think i was destined for the 27 club too. i used to think i would never make it to Older, make it to Life Gets Better. but a very wise man once said: life is better than death, i’ll prove it and you know what? i think he was right. i think leaving early just robs…
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RM: Right People, Wrong Place
i watched your movie today. i took my sister with me to the cinema, and i lied to her about the start time so we wouldn’t be late. we sat on the far right of the movie theater, and we were the last ones in the room. hearing your voice again felt great, and seeing your smile felt even better.…
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shower
today’s a hard day. they say working out makes you feel better, so i did that. i cried beforeduringafter the workout, then i stopped crying in the shower. my hair is still wet as i cry some more. i just want a hug, to be held, to be told everything will be okay. maybe that’s why i stopped crying in…
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forever rain
when it rains, it pours. i wish i could lean into a hand that cups my face, feel its warmth and love and support. i feel lonely and lost and i want to be held. a little warmth to drive the rain away i want to be there for somebody no matter what. i want to stand by their side…
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brother/
my love, my heart i know you love your brother with all that you are as he makes a mistake i wish i could hold your hand tell you it’s okay to distance yourself from the hurt inside i wish i could console you and tell you all will be fine tell you your brother is in the right even…
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i want it all
the longing, the yearning, the sighing, the pining