i had a meltdown today. i wailed and sniffed, couldn’t even form sentences, and i cried my eyes out. i was feeling stuck and lonely, and my sister asking me if i was okay punched the floodgates open.

she ended up making me chicken noodle soup, cancelling her plans with her fiance just to stay with me. i felt like such a burden, but i was also so grateful to have them. my sister reassured me that i am lacking in nothing, that i have food and medications and a safe roof over my head. i cried even harder as i told her i needed to pay rent, and she whispered conspiratorially that we’re not getting kicked out even if we don’t make rent.

surviving the day felt impossible, but i still did it. even when i didn’t think i could take the next breath, i did, and the one after that. my chest hurt as the air racked my ribs, but i still inhaled, over and over again. even the hardest day is only 24 hours long, and i know i will be okay at 00:00.

thank you for reminding me that my problems reset at Zero o’clock.

모든 게 새로운, zero o’clock