tonight i am acutely aware that i am one. i don’t have a team around me, and sometimes it feels like no one has my back unconditionally. when i see you with the boys, i am so happy that you have a chosen family, a place where you can always be yourself, a group of people who understands you better than you understand yourself. i wish i weren’t, but i’m also so jealous. i wish i had that sort of connection with someone. the closest thing is my sister, but she has her own chosen family, and lately i’ve been feeling like a third wheel, an interloper on a partnership. the closer i try to get to them, the lonelier i feel. so tonight i am one, wishing i were any other number.

-D