i watched your movie today. i took my sister with me to the cinema, and i lied to her about the start time so we wouldn’t be late. we sat on the far right of the movie theater, and we were the last ones in the room. hearing your voice again felt great, and seeing your smile felt even better. thank you for allowing someone to film this whole process, and for giving us the gift of the album as well as the gift of the documentary; it helped me understand you better, and appreciate your music even more. i didn’t know you were struggling so much with your identity as RM, as Kim Namjoon, as the leader of BTS, as a person. the ups and down, the peaks and valles, the electrocardiogram of being alive. i appreciate seeing you adding your own flavour and choices and spice and pain to it all, seeing how shaping the music shaped you, too.

my sister thinks you think too much. i think you overthink the right amount. you’re considerate and thoughtful, and that translates to being too aware to close your eyes, to ignore others, to let things slide. it’s a double edged weapon cutting your hand as you wield it. even through the trials and tribulations life has put you through, you remain you. not unapologetically, but still you. i’m glad you exist, and it’s a blessing to be able to peak into your mind, see the gears turn, see the magic happening.

you could never disappoint me. even if you quit making music, if you stopped being in BTS, if you wanted to leave it all behind, you’d still find me right here, rooting for you. take a deep breath, trust yourself, and do whatever the hell you want to. even if it looks like you’re straying from the path, that’s the new path you’re setting down.

i also though halfway through the film that i’d love to take a dip into your mind and just bathe in the current of your thoughts. you are one hella interesting person, Namjoon. i’d love to talk to you someday. it’ll be in Korean so I won’t miss any nuance, which means i WILL master Korean. thank you for helping me renew that vow.

i love that sexy brain of yours, Kim Namjoon.